Emo-Me

Like I've said before- I care too much. About too many people. It's rather ridiculous expecting all of them to care back. The worst part is, simply caring does not implicitly guarantee understanding.

Needless to say, and as all of you have already guessed, I've been misunderstood alot lately.

No, I'm not trying to make your girl cheat on you, she's an old friend and we're cool like that. As a matter of fact, I'm flirting with the girl sitting next to her. You know... the one that's single and fun to make fun of? Besides, my very old friend... you know, the one that lives in the same city that I'm originally from? The one I've known since i was in the eighth grade? He's her brother. Yes, i actually do have a few specs of decency mixed into my entire being.

No, I'm not disrespecting your potential fiance. As a matter of fact, I'm trying to put him at his ease by making myself look like an idiot- because, idiotically, I love you in my own way and would like nothing better than you two to be happy together. You told me that you understood me. I was there for you. Thank you for coming back- you were missed rather sorely. Did I mention that the reason for your absence hurt? I thought you knew how i am. I thought that the respect i had for you wasnt something i had to repeatedly manifest in words. Perhaps all the times i tried my best to be there for you dont count. I understand that i have my niche, my plane, my level. Your search for stability might be nearing its end, and I could not be happier. You know I love you, because you have seen the child, and the darkness, and the fear, and the weakness, and despite becoming exasperated... you have always loved me back.

No, I haven't forgotten you for my new friends. I just need space. If you felt so ignored and insulted on my birthday, you could have come up to me nd tried to strike up an enjoyable conversation. We've known each other for 5 years out of which we were constantly together for four. Why do i now have to buy your friendship with cloths and expensive food? You too, were precious to me, but you are not my mother hen and i am not your egg to be coveted and coddled. I need my space. I have stood up for you in circumstances that would have broken many friendships. You have used me in ways that would have justified my hatred. Still i have come back for the strange bond we share, never being sure whether I'm the older brother, or you're the older sister. Enjoying making everyone think we're a couple anyway. To resume all this, you first require cloths and food. Insulting me in front of half the college in the cafe at hte top of your voice and still having me apologize wasnt enough?

No, i wasnt taunting you when i told you to have fun. I simply didnt know what else to say. Thank you for cussing at me when i try to talk to you a few hours later. That's exactly what i needed.

And then, one of my oldest friends tells me that I've changed and become an asshole.

Definately emo.

You get?